Can you accept your ‘bahu’ (daughter-in-law) having webcam sex?

Posted: April 20, 2013 in Laughing at life
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Instead of viewing cyber-affairs as something like a disease, if it can be accepted as a part of our lives, our real lives can become more adorable

So it’s not just men.

Women of all ages try to communicate their feelings to friends of their choices at the dead of the night behind a wall of cyberspace.

And their friends are necessarily not women; they are men, of different ages, with whom they may strike a certain mental compatibility and whose views match theirs.

In real life, it’s hard to find the right life partner with whom you can share all your thoughts. Even if you do, often couples grow up apart; not finding enough reasons or the energy to call the marriage off. Yet, cannot really cheat on a partner by having an affair. (Affairs are costly, anyway) So the thin wall of cyberspace gives women , especially women, the curtain from behind which they can conduct a cyber/no-cost  affair. With video calling, you can even see each other while talking… and that can be at the dead of the night, when your spouse is asleep.

It’s getting more and more popular not just with men, but also with a huge number of married women. Who by the end of the day, bruised and tired from serving often an uncaring husband, or an uncaring family, an uncaring job, lets her tears turn into smile when she sees her cyber-lover online, when everyone’s asleep.  She renews her energy for the next day’s battle by talking with him, making web-love, sometimes even having serious webcam sex.  Ethical? Unethical? Moral? Immoral? It doesn’t matter. At the end of the day everyone’s happy, and no one’s hurt (as long as they don’t know something, it doesn’t hurt); that’s what matters.

Women, this is your battery recharge. You are doing no wrong.

An affair renews every cell in one’s body. And yes, I AM propagating extra-marital affairs. Multiple affairs, if you can handle different emotions on different chat windows.

And I know the society is not ready to accept it.

Like this quote from some famous person goes: Love everyone, but live with one.  So it’s okay to love everyone, but live with one. Unless it becomes utterly impossible.

An affair kind of renews your relationship with your spouse, since you start expecting lesser and lesser in return from your spouse, as your expectations start getting fulfilled by others, without any societal calamity. So instead of viewing cyber-affairs as something like a disease, if it can be accepted as a part of our lives, our real lives can become more adorable. You may see a very accommodating and smiling bahu with her ghunghat (covering on her head) on her head every morning, performing morning religious rituals and handling kitchen chores cheerfully, if you have no problems about her having webcam sex at night.

And cheating? What is the definition of cheating? If a woman goes to bed with someone it’s cheating. What about when a woman loves someone else all her life while being married to her husband? Isn’t that cheating?

Nature stymies us to love, mate, reproduce and move on. It never speaks of marriage. Did you ever see a tiger and tigress swear a vow to live together for seven lives? That’s ridiculous! The institution of marriage itself is a bizarre proposition constructed by societal mentors majorly to keep population in check. And look at the ‘checked’ population of one of the most married societies of the world: India!

I personally feel marriages should come with a renewable expiry date. The date can be set by law. Say four years. Once you reach that date, you visit the courthouse, and either renew the date, or nullify your marriage. This reduces the much stressful and cumbersome divorce proceedings. Okay, you pay a fee. That way the court will be happy too.

I hope I live to see that day when “marriage” will have faded into the pages of history.

Kaberi Chatterjee

(Published in Asian Connections, April 19, 2013, Page 21)

Comments
  1. alkazline says:

    Proud of you Kaberi !

  2. Debdatta says:

    My father once said you get one lifetime,enjoy it, chase your dreams,your free to do anything and nothing is right or wrong until you hurt someone physically or mentally.My point is being true to oneself,if one can survive the guilt and anxiety that’s inevitable to creep in at some point then its fine.But be sure to see the reality beyond fiction, because the virtual world at some point will collapse and that shouldn’t lead one’s life from being bad to worse.

    • apu28 says:

      Love, your dad is absolutely right. (Oh!What a dad!) Just one thing: Virtual world will perhaps never collapse, it will only rise, spread its wave through the world like telecommunications, televisions, etc, did, and move on to become a tool for android creation, bio-human creation and perhaps even immortality. It is going to become the biggest reality. Let’s not underestimate its powers and treat it responsibly. Let’s brace for it! Amen!

  3. Anju says:

    just one question Kaberi…….out of all the titles of Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter etc etc….why would you choose daughter-in-law?

  4. Anonymous says:

    This write up is innovative, good approach, thanks Kaberi.

  5. apu28 says:

    Because Anju, that’s the most debauched of all relationships and is least forgiven:/

  6. Atul says:

    How you thought you will not be caught??
    Its just impossible…
    To find about any person; like what he/she is doing over the net just one thing is required & that is “a grain of doubt” & you know then it becomes too easy afterwards to find all the truth, in & out.
    And very foolishly you compared humans with animals (like tiger). There is a difference between the two. We have the power to think about right & wrong. Do they have that??
    Now you may say Right & Wrong depends on the perspective. Then Madam let me correct you. Its wrong. Right & wrong is decided by the impact that those acts/things have in the long term(considering all the possibilities) & if you are a bit spiritual then allow me amend my statement: Right or wrong is decided by what is mentioned in the scriptures. Sex is meant just for procreation & that pleasure is just a “by-product” of it. And Marriages are not just an insitution, its a way to make humans human & not animals. Pray god to make you a bitch in your next life such that you may have sex freely(even on the streets).

    There are many things in life except having Sex or something like that. Life is not just sex. Neither it should revolve around it. Be content with your partner unless he is not cheating.

    You are ruining the image of Bengal in India & of India in the world. India is known for its culture. Stop ruining it. Every innovative thing is not always good. Stop seeing the world just from your perspective.

    My english may not be that good, points may appear scattered but I feel I conveyed the point.

  7. Anonymous says:

    I like the concept…people should sit with their partners with an agenda ‘live and let live’ before applying this idea…then its safe, easy and inspiring..

  8. Dear Kaberi
    Marriage (which means commitment) is the only thing which discriminate humans from animals. It is the institution of marriage which has made the societies where the women and men largely live in said rules of human civilization. Nothing has served a greater role in forming human societies than marriage. Of course we can’t deny that every rose has thorns, the concept of marriage is the rose with the desire of infidelity as attached thorn.
    One of the most important thing you forget in your time bound marriages is the EMOTIONAL TRAUMA OF CHILDREN.
    i will strongly suggest you to go through my book ‘ from where i see” and I guarantee that your concepts will change because no book I think have ever tried to correlate the concept of marriage from pre-civilization till date.
    Regards
    Dr. Ajay yadav

  9. Himani says:

    Even I agree with Dr Ajay. It’s true Marriage is a Scared institution and both Life partner should respect it. As far as Webcam sex is concerned, I as a human being think that it is not good for both men and women as it will distant their relationship…

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