Get physical…

Posted: December 31, 2012 in For a thought....

This did not begin today. This has not ended today. We all know that. What we don’t know is WHY? Why India, why?

This goes back to the days of Sati, of painful treatments of widows, of discrimination at every home between a girl child and a boy child. ThImageis begins with the distasteful system of dowry that exists even today in every fiber of the society. This begins with the gender biased inheritance law, which was rectified just recently… yet to be recognized and implemented among quite a few.

I remember my mother wanted a boy, but I was born. She had five sisters and no brothers, and so was subtly ostracized in the society. She became so desperate for a son that if my brother wasn’t born after my younger sister, she would have probably continued to have babies.

It’s just one-generation-old story. Today’s generation is probably more matured, but that’s majorly happening in the cities.

So that’s the reason why it’s an embarrassment to be born a girl in India.

And it’s an embarrassment to grow up as a girl in India. Like Seema Sirohi said in an interview recently on CNN, “It’s not easy being a woman in India.” Despite being covered from head to toe, you get lewd remarks, as if people are boring their eyes inside you to look at your breast size.

This is because “sex” had always been made taboo in India — for how long, I don’t know. Calling it a “sin” to have before marriage, people who hug each other in public are called “shameless”. Kissing in public is unheard of and even banned in Bollywood films. But the movie heroines shake their breasts, hips, bare waists and legs in such a titillating motion that not only are men aroused, I too was aroused quite a few times!

It`s not funny. Because you are arousing them and then not letting them get a healthy outlet for their biological needs. As a result, and also since no man in India fears the law, the men are always inching to touch the first woman they come across… in buses, in public places, in crowded stations. And if a girl has exposed anything more than her face and hands (not even entire arm), that too garbed in loose clothing, she should be “punished” for providing real-life bait.

And then at the end of the day these heroines, who titillate the screen, laugh their way to the banks and marry rich industrialists. Farhan Akhtar was the only Bollywood persona who I saw admitting that the film fraternity needs to take the blame too.

This problem started way back. The death of Nirbhaya is only the final nail into the coffin. People are now analyzing; men are coming out and admitting that they too made lewd remarks at girls sometimes in their lives, or visualized a girl without clothing.

Sex is a very natural thing and should be promoted with élan in the Indian society. I, being a 45-year-old woman, want to know how many of the youngsters (or old people) had the courage to hug and kiss each other in a public place and have had sex whenever they wanted, marriage or no marriage. Click like, if you have the courage. Now that everything is getting public, let this also get public and encourage more and more of the new generation to acknowledge the root of the problem.

I wouldn’t mind this getting translated in all languages and circulated around among people who do not have access to the internet, and who need to know of this most of all.

Since you copy the West so much, let me tell you why I think this is right. Here in the West, if you are attracted to someone, you have physical relation, and get over with it. You don’t bottle it up and take it ruthlessly out on someone who doesn’t want it. This is ONE aspect from the West which you can safely ape. For a healthy society, I request you all to get physical.


  1. Anonymous says:

    well written, yet cannot agree having sex (even kissing) in public!


  2. apu28 says:

    No, I am sure no one wud like to have sex in public :O.. West or East…


  3. Joyce Yarrow says:

    Great post, Kaberi. You reached the heart – and the loins – of the matter. Repression is very dangerous and all over the world women pay the price for it, especially in India.


  4. Bhaswati Ghosh says:

    I find myself agreeing with you regarding young people’s freedom of choice with regard to their sexual lives. Surely, the taboo is doing India no good–socially or culturally.


  5. lezlewis says:

    There is a bit of historical development you are not mentioning, which is perfectly natural as it happened here in North America and Europe not in India. That would be the ‘Sexual Revolution’ or the 1960tys. The opening a society to what was then called”Free Love” led the west a dramatic step forward and in the end, for better or worse empowered and enabled not only women but men. Lets face it not everything that came out of the ‘Sixtys’ was good or even positive, but it was a real change.
    Don’t get me wrong here I am not advocating that India engage itself with Sex, Drugs and Rock’n Roll, but I do believe that constriction in society is as dangerous as a noose around one’s throat.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. apu28 says:

    India needs a revolution now… any kind would do. A country that is heading towards being a global superpower cannot afford to have such giant loopholes…


  7. Tareq Zahir says:

    You said what most people know but won’t openly say because we are always trying to be politically correct and so so wrong


  8. Anonymous says:

    Ridiculous .. and that to coming from the mouth of a female is even more disturbing .. its time we seriously goes back to the basics & start looking inward .. sadly , we have become a bored , obsolete , degenerated animals who no more deserve to be called human anymore .. a restless creature running hither and thither in search of peace and being fucked at every step .. strongly believe in the traditions & cultures that India possesses & the writings one needs to go through which are unfortunately have gone astray.


  9. Mukesh says:

    You said it!! The ‘taboo’ about sex should be removed…a society with lot of ‘pent up libido’ is like a volcano ready to erupt


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