That funky monkey…

Posted: January 4, 2012 in Laughing at life

This is a true story too. I was reluctant to share it since it’s so indignant, but now I have to. Or I might die one day with this great secret. And I may also deprive you of one more day of laughter at the cost of my bizarre experiences.

It was at the onset of winter. I was walking my dog at the lakes at dawn when a man with two monkeys walked past me.
You know, in India, monkeys are trained to perform in order to entertain children and adults alike. So a man walking by holding monkeys tied on a leash was a very common sight.
Of course, these days, with computer and X-boxes children barely can lift their heads. So the monkey-man and his alluring small drum, ‘dugdugi’, which he would play to entice the children out on the streets and watch his monkey-business, have vanished into the pre-technology-history.
The ‘dugdugi’ would be an alluring music for us when we were children. We would run out into the balcony during the summer afternoons to watch the trained monkeys dance, run and do whatever their trainer would tell them to do.

That day, one of the monkeys who walked past me, was rather a large one with usual long hands hanging by its sides. My tiny dog, a humble Spitz called ‘Sunny’, who never had any bouts of temper tantrums previously, suddenly decided to get possessive about his owner. He started barking vociferously baring out his canines at the monkey.
The monkey could take only so much. It turned and, taking advantage of the owner’s long leash, advanced towards us. I caught hold of Sunny’s leash and backed a little. The monkey-man caught its leash. There was about three feet distance between the two animals when the war began.
Sunny went blue in the face barking while the monkey bore out all his teeth at both the dog and me. He was so angry that he jumped up and down on both his feet, hissing and baring his fangs at us.
The matter might have ended there, had I turned around and walked off. But an untimely animal love rose from within and I tried to extend my ‘little love’ for this hissing monkey dancing with fury. I smiled at the jumping animal, bent a little with loads of confidence, and extended my hand at it, saying: “Aah.. aah… aah…”
The monkey took four bold steps towards me and extending its long, right hand outwards like an angry father, brought it down and whacked me “PHAAATT” on my left leg.

I stood stunned!

The monkey-man instantly pulled at his leash and, reprimanding the mammal like his child, walked off. All the while, the simian, unabashed and not a bit remorseful, kept looking back at me and kept baring its fangs.
I walked on normally, looking hither-tither, with my leg stinging; but it took several long years for the matter to sink into my system that I had been slapped by the monkey!

  1. geeta singh says:

    kaberi i subscribed to you accidently.didnt know u were an author etc.happened to read your blog on you and travails with was simply hilarious and consoled me no end ‘ek hum hi nahi tanha nafrat me teri ruswa is shehr me hum jaise diwane hazaron hain’..the confusion beween the remote and the mobile! i didnt find it funny when it happened to was scary.and this writeup was such a pleasure to read.thank you.i must find other stuff written by you thanks for being there.geeta


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